I get asked a lot how I handle being married to man who works so much. Mike works on the railroad and often works long days and over weekends. Some weekends I’m lucky if I see him awake a combined 3 hours. That leaves me with a lot of alone time which can sometimes be a good thing, but it can also be very lonely. Truthfully, Mike and I have always spent a lot of time together. We’ve done just about everything together for our entire relationship which has been amazing. However, it also causes me to be a bit co-dependent on him. Within the last year i’ve really had to learn how to “entertain” myself, how to get back to my independence. It hasn’t been the easiest journey, but I’ve discovered a few ways to make nothing through this lonely season a little easier.
1. Take Up A Hobby
Three years ago I started this blog as a creative outlet, but within the last year I’ve had more time to focus on it more passionately and it has been a saving grace for me. While Mike is working I spend a lot of time producing new content and taking care of boring routine web maintenance. Sometimes I start on a project and before I know it 10 hours have passed and it’s almost time for Mike to come home! The key is to find something you enjoy doing alone and immerse yourself in it.
2. Focus On Gratitude
It’s easy to get caught up in a negative pity party over your solitude. I find that focusing on the positive will help your prospective a lot. Instead of being sad that Mike isn’t around, I am gracious to have a husband who works so hard to support his family. When I think about how proud I am of him, I’m less upset by his absence. Gratitude is key to turing a bad situation into a good one.
3. Don’t Wait Around
At first, I felt like I needed to be home when Mike would be around before or after work. However, his crazy hours were messing with my weekend routine. I wasn’t able to be productive or do anything I enjoyed doing because I was waiting on him to get home or wake from opposite sleeping hours. Eventually, I just started going about my own plans and I found it worked for both of us. I got to do my thing and Mike was able to come home, unwind, and get rest without me hounding him for together time.
4. Catch Up With Loved Ones
There’s no reason you have to be alone while your hubby is working. With his crazy work schedule I’ve made new girlfriends with similar interests, gone for lunch with friends I don’t get to see often, and spent time with my favorite gal – my mom! Life gets hectic and the older I get with more obligations and responsibilities the harder I find maintaining relationships. Mike being gone during my free time gives me the ability to reach out and have time to reconnect with other people who rejuvenate my soul. And honestly, it helps me to be the best version of myself for when he is around.
5. Plan Your Time Together
When you actually do have time together you should be making the best of it. For Mike’s days off I try to schedule equal parts fun and relaxation. I like to let Mike sleep in since he’s up at 3 3:30am most mornings. He really appreciates me taking care of the dogs and letting him rest up. Then we try to do something together to help us reconnect. Date nights are important here even if its just dinner at a casual restaurant. Your little time together will become so much more special. Also, it helps to plan future things to look forward to. Think weekend getaways, day trips, or special events! The types of activities help bring your closer, but they also help to recharge both of your batteries which, your workaholic husband will absolutely need to keep going.